Beautiful Disaster
by McRaider
Summary: Torchwood has always been left to clean things up after it's all over. But for once that may not be a good thing, when the thing to clean up is their boss. Chapters 2-6 POSTED! Part 2 of Journey Series.
1. Chapter 1

**Beautiful Disaster  
McRaider  
Summary: Torchwood is always left with the aftermath, but for the first time it's heavily affecting one of their own people.  
Author's Note: This was inspired but a number of fanfictions, some of which were fantastic! Others were so short that I got frustrated and wanted to do better. Thus this little baby was born. I do not claim to be an expert on radiation poisoning what little I know I got from the CDC website, Wikipedia and various TV shows. Martha and the Doctor will both be making an appearance in this. This is set shortly after Gwen's wedding (she'll just have returned from her honeymoon)  
Warning/Rating: Graphic description of radiation poisoning.  
Rated: R  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. I did a large amount of research for this and if you'd like to know more feel free to ask for the websites, mostly it was the CDC website and  
Thanks: Thanks to ****j****shu0chan****, and ****pabzi ****for their glorious beta skills.**

**Chapter One: "Little Boy"**

_In 1945 America unleashed the first atomic bomb on __Hiroshima and Nagasaki bringing about the end of World War II. America was the _only _country to ever have used nuclear weapons in waging war. _

He'd had a bad feeling all morning, from the moment he's woken up with Ianto curled in his arms. They'd forced themselves to get up and get ready for another day. Neither of them ready to separate, but both aware they had to be adults. Jack had stepped out into the main Hub area when he heard the unusual beeping. Tosh's computer was detecting some type of rift activity. He began typing, searching for more information when Tosh and Gwen entered the hub, the clanking of the cog door opening.

"Good morning Jack!" greeted Tosh as she stepped over to her desk to look at what he was doing. She'd long ago grown accustomed to him watching the rift activity on her computer. "What's that?"

Jack shook his head as he looked over the readings. "I don't know but something just came through the rift that's showing signs of high energy output, someone call up Owen. We need to get out there as soon as possible. Ianto!"

The suited man stepped forward slightly from the kitchenette, "Yes sir?"

"We're headed out to one of the far piers. We'll be back, have lunch ready?"

The young archivist nodded as he moved off towards the tourist office, making a mental note to grab his blue tooth, as well as keep an eye on rift activity while they were gone. He was puttering around the office when Tosh, Gwen and Jack all headed out the main entrance. Waving goodbye to his lover, Jack stepped into the sunlight. Ianto watched them carefully, this was one of the first few times they weren't taking him in out to the field. He didn't mind so much, he'd come to recognize that there were times when they didn't need him. He only hoped that this too would be one of those times, though he couldn't quite shake the eerie feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. Making his way back downstairs, he watched his team on the CCTV. Now and then he looked over to check on the rift activity, knowing that he would do whatever it would take to keep his teammates safe.

Like Ianto, Jack couldn't quite shake off the feeling of dread that was racing through his veins. They swung by Owen's flat and picked him up on the way to the pier. The object in question was supposed to be in one of the empty warehouses along the pier. Jack pulled the SUV to a halt in front of the warehouse district, "Gwen you're with Owen, Tosh you're with me. Be safe and if you find or even think you've found it contact us immediately, since we're dealing with a large amount of energy there's no telling what it could do to you." Once he received a nod from his team he looked at the various warehouses, "You two take the far one, stay in contact, we'll take this one."

o0o

Owen and Gwen split up once they stepped inside the far warehouse, "So tell me Gwen—" Owen began over his blue tooth, "How was the honeymoon?"

Gwen shook her head as she glanced up at the second level stairs where Owen was standing looking down at her. "Had a great time, thanks Owen. How's death treating you?"

He chuckled softly then pressed the button on his earpiece. "Jack its Owen, we haven't found anything. How are you doing?"

"Jack and I have split up, where I am shows no signs of the energy spike." Tosh offered.

Jack was just about to tap his ear bud and make a comment about being safe when he saw it there. Sitting in the middle of the room, was a piece of what looked like metal casing. It wasn't very large, and it appeared to have some type of writing on the side. Stepping out of the doorway he moved into the room, glancing around to make sure it was safe to move towards the casing. "Hey kids, I think I may have found it, Tosh do you have any readings on it?"

"Readings are off the scale, be careful Jack. Whatever it is, I think it's going to do something. Where are you?"

Jack leaned down close to the piece, reaching out as if something was drawing him in, he touched the casing. While dusting away some dirty and charred pieces, he hissed in pain then felt his eyes grow wide. There on the side in clear white lettering were the words _Little Boy_. He felt sick. "Get out!" he yelled.

"Jack?" Tosh's voice wasn't far outside the room.

"Don't come in here! Get the radiation suits! I think I just touched a piece of radioactive casing from the bomb that took out Hiroshima."

"I'm sorry I don't think I caught that, did you just say Hiroshima!?" Owen's voice crackled in his ear.

Jack felt his stomach twist as he looked down at his lightly singed fingers. He'd just touched it, and probably just by being in this room with it, he'd signed his own death warrant, but that wasn't the bad part. The bad part was radiation sickness was a slow and painful death. "Put in a call to UNIT they're better equipped for radiation exposure of this magnitude."

"Jack—" Gwen began, but she stopped unsure what to say, "Are you sure?"

"Make the call."

o0o

Sitting in a room with casing from the original bomb that blew up Hiroshima did nothing to help Jack feel more secure about dying. There was a constant stream of chatter over the comms while they waited for the arrival of a UNIT team. Jack didn't look forward to the idea of Martha being one of the people who came, but he knew that if she heard what happened she'd be there in an instant.

He sat cross-legged on the floor several feet away from the casing, his stomach still churning in fear when he finally heard footsteps. "Captain?" A voice called out. Scott Millers, the head of UNIT stepped into the doorway, clad in a heavy lead uniform and looking very nervous.

"I think I'm in trouble, Scott," was all Jack could think of as he looked up at his friend of several years.

"Yeah I bet. Dr. Jones and Dr. Harper are currently dressed in the lead uniforms two rooms away, we've swept the rest of the building, and it seems that the entire building is made of lead— lucky for us. We won't have to evacuate anyone and raise suspicions."

"What about me?"

Scott looked down at the Captain, "You're going to be scrubbed down, which will make sure you don't contaminate anyone else. Then we'll go from there. You can leave now; we'll take care of the specimen and scrub down the room so no one else will be infected."

Jack stepped through the warehouse into another room, Owen and Martha both stood in radiation suits, looking at him hesitantly. A large steel like shower had been wheeled into the middle of the room. Jack looked at it slowly, trying to hide his nervousness. "Normally I'd be all for getting naked for you two in a shower." He offered trying to break the tension.

"It's going to be okay Jack; this will make sure that you won't contaminate others and then we can touch you and run scans on you." Martha explained as she opened the door to the shower.

"What's to test—I'm going to die, then I'll be back."

No one said a word in response as Jack quickly stripped and stepped into the shower, for the first time feeling truly naked and fearful. He cried out in surprise as cold water hit him from every angle. Owen watched briefly for a moment before he moved to dispose of Jack's clothes and get him a pair of scrubs to wear. If Jack was really exposed to a large amount of radiation, they were in for a long and hard road. Dying would be the easy part of all of this; it was the process of everything that would be horrible. He tapped his ear piece "Ianto, its Owen, I need you to set up a location in the hub where we can keep twenty-four hour surveillance on Jack. It will also need to be comfortable for him; he shouldn't be alone for this."

Ianto had been in the hub when he heard Jack's initial declaration. Since then both Tosh and Gwen had returned to the hub, leaving Owen and Jack with UNIT. Ianto knew very little about radiation sickness, but if the fear in Jack and Owen's voice was any indication he suddenly knew why he'd felt sick this morning.

Jack stepped out of the shower and took the proffered towel from Martha. Drying himself off he looked over at Owen. "So, now what?" He knew he wasn't in control of this situation; it was up to the doctors.

Owen sighed heavily before he met Jack's blue eyes. "Get dressed, we're going to run a few quick scans on you, Tosh left the medical scanner so it'll be quick and painless, we'll make sure you're no longer radioactive. Once we've determined that we'll all go back to the hub. From there we're going to run a series of tests on you to determine how much exposure you've had and how bad this is going to get."

The scan was indeed quick and painless; Owen didn't once look at Jack, afraid that if he did he'd lose the composure he worked so hard to keep. As a doctor he'd been trained to keep a poker face while looking over his patients. However, this was one patient that Owen couldn't be stoic for, this was Captain Jack, his Captain Jack—_their_ Captain Jack. "You're definitely no longer radioactive, and from what we've pieced together you were exposed to 9-10 grays just by being in the room, when you touched it you received about 8 grays."

"What's that mean?" Jack questioned.

Owen finally looked up, meeting Jack's eyes, without wavering he replied, "It's a lethal dose. "

"Hold on though, Jack, you're immortal shouldn't you heal faster?" Martha asked from where she'd been standing in the corner watching the two.

Owen glanced up, "We've run tests on Jack up until now, he does have accelerated healing, but generally he heals at the same rate as most of us—" Owen stopped.

"Unless I die, then I heal rapidly. It's okay Owen, we'll get through this."

"Right, Jack, I'm sorry."

Jack didn't reply to Owen's final words, instead he looked around the warehouse. "Can we go home?" he asked quietly, trying to act strong for his cohorts.

"Course we can." Owen replied gently as he patted Jack on the shoulder. "Gwen, Tosh, Ianto we're on the way back to the hub with Jack, and Martha will be joining us. I'd like to have a meeting in the conference room."

o0o

The ride was silent, Jack was too busy thinking up all the horrible things he knew about nuclear weapons and radiation sickness. Owen was trying to figure out how to break it to everyone that they'd likely be spending the next two weeks watching Jack die a slow and painful death. And Martha was recalling every horrific moment Jack had told her about what happened on the Valiant. It didn't seem fair that Jack should have to keep suffering and dying.

They arrived back at the hub and as promised everyone, including Jack, gathered in the conference room. It was deadly silent; all eyes were swapping between Owen and Jack. "Okay so what are we about talking here? I mean Jack's immortal—" Gwen spoke up.

Owen shook his head. "Yes, Jack can't die permanently, but we've all seen him suffer and die. However, while his body heals at an accelerated rate to that of normal people—this is different."

Tosh looked around, "I'm not quite sure I understand."

Owen sighed as he pointed the control at the CCTV, a moment later a strand of what appeared to be DNA appeared on the screen. "This is Jack's DNA, aside from a few shifted cells, it's identical to ours. However, to give you all an idea of what radiation sickness does, this is—" He flipped the switch to a regular strand of DNA, "What would happen if say I were to be in Jack's shoes." They all watched as little waves attacked the DNA molecules, breaking the chains apart. Owen flipped the screen back to Jack's DNA and then pushed the control button again, "Deterioration of the DNA, no matter who it is, is so rapid that there's no way Jack's accelerated healing would ever be able to catch up to it. Even now it's trying, the problem is that ultraviolet rays and electro magnetic rays, such as uranium, which is what Jack touched; cause mutations in the DNA, keeping it from fixing itself. The DNA is breaking down. No, Jack is going to have to ride this out."

The response was grim as everyone looked back at Jack, who looked equally as grim as everyone else in the room. "H—How long?" whispered Ianto from his position beside Jack.

"Fourteen days at best, a month at worst."

"I'm sorry, but what exactly are we going to be dealing with?" Gwen questioned.

Owen nodded to Tosh who took over and flipped to another slid on the CCTV. "In 1945 America dropped the first Nuclear bomb on Hiroshima.The release at 08:15 (Hiroshima time) was uneventful, and the gravity bomb known as "Little Boy", a gun-type fission weapon with 60 kg (130 pounds) of uranium-235, took 57 seconds to fall from the aircraft to the predetermined detonation height about 600 meters (1,900 ft) above the city. It created a blast equivalent to about 13 kilotons of TNT. (The U-235 weapon was considered very inefficient, with only 1.38 of its material fissioning.) The radius of total destruction was about 1.6 km (1 mile), with resulting fires across 11.4 km² (4.4 square miles). Infrastructure damage was estimated at 90 percent of Hiroshima's buildings being either damaged or completely destroyed. The blast was so large and the fire so vast that nearly everyone in that radius died, even now those who were outside the blast radius are still suffering cancer and other types of diseases from the fall out. Everything in the blast radius was seared to death, animals, humans and plants. The casing Jack found, and proceeded to touch, was a piece of "Little Boy". Though it shouldn't be possible, it appears to be a piece from the actual bomb after the explosion. It would also appear that it was shot through the rift at the time of the explosion, it was sent forward in time."

Martha took her turn, accepting the control from Tosh and sighed, "Radiation poisoning is read in a term called grays, depending on how many grays you're exposed to, is how medical personnel determine the life expectancy. Because it was directly after the blast, Jack was exposed to 8 grays of radiation all over his body and 7 by direct contact. 35 of people exposed to 2 to 3 grays die after a month. 50 die from 4-5 grays in a month, 60 die after a month when exposed to 5-6 grays. 100 of all people exposed to 6 or more grays die within two weeks, generally from hemorrhaging, internal bleeding and infection. There will be three distinct phases, Prodormal Stage, Latent Stage, and Manifest Illness stage. The prodormal stage symptoms will begin anywhere within the next hour, it'll start out with nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, confusion and possibly loss of consciousness. This will last anywhere from a couple days to a week. Followed by that stage is the Latent Stage, Jack will probably feel at his best during this stage, it usually lasts two-six days, he'll appear fine; however he'll continue to loose weight, his body: bone marrow, DNA, gastro intestines and central nervous system will rapidly decay. The final stage, Manifest Illness Stage will entail nausea will be followed be tremors, convulsions and something called ataxia—which is the loss of muscle function. Surface tissue, brain tissue and internal organs will inflame and degrade which is called necrosis. If he doesn't drown in his fluids first, he will bleed to death and there is no medical treatment to prevent that."

The silence was palpable and painful; Jack could feel the pity stares coming from every person in the room. He hated being vulnerable, and here he was less than an hour away from the most vulnerable he'd ever been. He felt his stomach roll and realized they'd miscalculated how quickly this was going to start. He shoved his seat back and hurried out of the room, in part to get away from the stares, another part of him however was beginning to feel the first affects of the nausea and vomiting.

Ianto watched his lover race out of the room he looked around the table. "I'll take the first shift," he whispered. He stood up and followed Jack out of the room; in hopes of giving the man the support Jack would easily give him in a similar situation.

Owen waited until they were both out of ear shot, "We'll do this in shifts, and everyone takes four hours with him. However we've also set up a CCTV in the room so we can watch him should we need to leave the room. It's going to be a long ride ladies, probably the worst we've ever witnessed—I know we're all aware that if Jack dies he'll likely come back, but in this case you might not want to treat it like that."

"Why?" Tosh asked fearfully.

"Radiation deteriorates DNA Tosh. There's no telling what might or might not happen. Savor the days you have with him, just in case. Besides, he's going to need support more than ever."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: So It Begins**

**Ianto stepped into the makeshift bedroom he'd set up less than an hour earlier; it was a room they'd all slept in at least once, just off to the left of the main part of the hub. It was private enough for someone to sleep ****in****, but ****open ****enough for people to see what was going on. It was a simple room; ****there was a cot, and plenty of blankets to the left of it.**** A bathroom with a door and shower was off to the right, there was a chair sitting by the end of the bed for someone to occupy should they need to.**

**He immediately picked up the sound of vomiting coming from the bathroom; he sighed and closed his eyes against the harsh sounds. He felt a lump forming in his throat, tears burning his eyes. He could recall every time he'd watched Jack die, it felt like every time was more painful than the next. He didn't want to believe this would be the last time; he wasn't ready to give up on the captain yet. **

**Sighing, he opened his eyes again and quickly stepped out of the room, he wasn't sure anything would help, but he could at least try and keep his lover hydrated. He grabbed a bottle of water and a straw, not wanting to upset Jack's stomach further. When he stepped back into the room he found the bathroom door open, Jack was seated on the floor, back against the shower/bath combo. His face was pale and drawn already, hair damp and glistening with sweat. "Here sir, rinse out your mouth." Ianto handed him the bottle with the straw.**

**"I've died so many times Ianto, so many. Even at the hands of a ruthless bastard I didn't feel this scared."**

**Ianto sighed again and sat down beside Jack, scooting as close as he could. He nodded. "You aren't alone Jack. We're going to take care of you, and when this is all over you'll wake up and we can go back to living our normal lives."**

**Jack let out a sarcastic life. "What's normal?" He took a slow sip of the water, trying to breathe deeply. "I'm sorry you're going to have to witness this, I've seen it before. It isn't pretty."**

**"Death is never pretty sir, it's a terrible thing, unfortunately for you, it would appear as if you're just proving which way is most painful."**

**"It would be easier for all of us if you shot me now." Murmured Jack.**

**Ianto shrugged. "Perhaps, only on you though. We've shot you before Jack; I don't think any of us are prepared for a recap. It's bad enough that we're all going to have to deal with this."**

**Jack whimpered suddenly as he gripped his stomach. Ianto took it as a signal and left the bathroom quickly to preserve some of the man's dignity just as Jack undid his pants. Closing the door behind himself he pressed his hand to the door. "I love you," he whispered softly before stepping out of the room to go speak with Owen. **

**Owen was in the medical bay, speaking discreetly with Martha when Ianto entered, he studied them for a moment, obviously they were in the midst of a heated discussion. "He's in pain, a lot of pain, and he's already vomiting and has diarrhea." He offered, interrupting the two. **

**Two sets of brown eyes looked up at Ianto and Owen sighed, "All right, we're trying to figure out what to give him right now. It's a bad idea to give someone with gastrointestinal problems morphine, it may only worsen the problem, Valium will make the ataxia worse, we can give him a low dose of Vicodin for now when his body decides to stop revolting—as much—I'll set him up with an IV."**

**"What were you talking about?" Ianto asked quietly.**

**"Nothing Ianto." Owen replied.**

**Ianto sighed. "Can I ask you both a question?"**

**Martha met the younger man's eyes. "Of course you can."**

**"If it weren't Jack, if it was me, or Gwen, Tosh anyone of us—would you kill them, knowing they'd never come back? Could you willingly put an end to the misery?"**

**Owen's eyes dropped to the ground, giving Ianto the answer he'd been seeking. "No," whispered Owen in reply. **

**Ianto nodded. "We can't kill him, like we've all said; he may only have so many times he can die. I know it's going to be painful, but he has the right to say goodbye and know that we love him. I can't hurt him. Not like that."**

**Owen finally met Ianto's eyes. "Neither can we. That's what we'd been talking about. I hate myself for not being able to put him out of his misery. Martha we may have to set him up with a catheter sooner rather than later. I'll go set him up with some Vicodin now." Owen left the room, leaving Martha and Ianto alone in the autopsy/medical bay. **

**"Ianto? Are you okay?"**

**The young man looked down at her and gave a weak smile, "You don't realize how much you care about people until you see them hurting."**

**Martha nodded. "I'm afraid it's only going to get worse."**

**"What can we do for him?"**

**"Hold him through the pain Ianto, all we can do is hold him, and when that becomes painful just talk to him."**

**"Tell me it's going to be okay," he whispered.**

**Martha moved up the stairs towards the tea-boy, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him close. "If I knew that, I would tell it to you in a heart beat." She replied, as she felt him wrap his own arms around her shoulders. They remained in their hug for several moments, drawing strength from one another for as long as they could. **

**o0o**

**Owen entered the small bedroom to find Jack lying curled up on the bed in a corner; he'd lost his pants and was only in a pair of boxers and a light shirt. He was shivering and Owen could see a fine sheen of sweat on the man's brow. "I brought you something for the pain," Owen offered quietly as he moved over to the bed. **

**"What happens when I can't make it to the bathroom anymore, Owen? Who the hell is going to clean up after me?" He whispered quietly, never turning to face the doctor. **

**"We will, because you're family. I know it's strange to hear from me. But you'd do the same for any of us."**

**Jack smirked weakly, "Well not you, that projectile vomit thing was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen."**

**Owen chuckled softly as he patted Jack's shoulder. "We'll take care of you Jack, no matter what. Do you have any questions while I'm down here?"**

**"Where's Ianto?"**

**Owen smiled. "Tea boy is upstairs with Martha discussing running off with her. Something about a torrid affair."**

**"Mmm, if I were in the mood, I'd consider that sexy."**

**"It's always about the sex. I'm going to insert an IV port which I'll then tape to your hand, we won't have to remove it and we can just change your IVs as needed. I've also placed a mild sedative in the solution along with the pain killer; it will keep you hydrated, pain free and hopefully help you get some rest."**

**"Have you ever watched someone die of radiation poisoning?" Jack questioned as he carefully turned towards the doctor, trying not to jar his body too much. He put his hand out and watched as Owen skillfully slipped the needle into the back of his hand then slid the port in. **

**"Yeah—once, when I was a first year intern in London."**

**Jack met the hazel orbs. "The man died?"**

**"Yeah, less than five hours after he was admitted. It was terrible, his insides literally seemed to melt from the inside out. He was covered in so many bandages to stop the bleeding. ****So many sores developed on his body, making it almost impossible to recognize him.****" Owen's face had taken a far off look to it, as he recalled every sickening detail of the red welts on the man's body, the whimpers and cries of pain. "Five hours he was tortured with pain."**

**"If I told you I didn't want any of you to sit with me, would you listen?"**

**Owen shook his head honestly. "No, Jack I know you want to spare us and you want to keep your dignity, but we've all got each other. If it gets to be too much then we'll switch sooner, but you aren't going to suffer through this alone."**

**The door to the bedroom opened, a moment later Ianto stepped into the room with a soft smile and a tray of tea. "I don't know if you can actually handle it, but I thought perhaps you'd like to try some tea."**

**Jack glanced up at Owen, as if waiting for the doctor's reply. "You can at least try it. I'll leave you two alone. Try and get some rest Jack, the more of this stage you can sleep through the better, it'll make the final stages a little less grueling."**

**Jack reached out, grabbing Owen before the younger man could walk away. "Thank you."**

**Owen just looked at his friend. A part of him had hated Jack for bringing him back to life, but another part—the part that thrived off others—was so thankful to have as much time with his team as he could have. He didn't reply he just gave a brief nod before leaving Ianto and Jack alone in the room. He stopped right beside Ianto, "I'll be back in a few hours, come get me if anything changes."**

**Ianto moved over to the bed, setting the tray down on the floor he handed the cup of tea to Jack smiling sadly. "How do you feel?"**

**"On top of the fucking world," muttered Jack as he remained on his side, accepting the mug in his hand and setting it on the bed. He looked at Ianto who'd taken up residence beside his head on the floor. "Careful I might puke on you."**

**Ianto smirked. "I'll take my chances." Lifting his hand he placed it on top of Jack's head, smoothing back the sweat dampened silk hair. "Jack—"**

**"Ianto save it, I'm going to die from this and wake up fine."**

**The tea boy nodded. "I know that, but that doesn't mean you have to act like it doesn't scare you." Without another word the man stood up, preparing to leave Jack alone. **

**"Damn it!" hissed Jack as he snapped his hand out and pulled Ianto back. He moved his mug to the floor then pulled Ianto down onto the bed. "Stay with me. Please, don't leave me to face this all alone."**

**Ianto, laid down next to his lover and looked at the man. "I hate that you can drive me crazy and make me love you even more in one sentence."**

**Jack smirked. "It's my irresistible charm."**

**"Or your overzealous libido," Ianto returned. **

**"You love me?"**

**"Well if you don't know by now sir; I'm certainly not going to tell you."**

**Jack shook his head playfully; he could feel the sedative beginning to take affect, his eye lids were beginning to drop. "Me too," he managed before he lost consciousness. **

**Ianto took a moment to look at Jack. He'd seen Jack die, he'd seen him angry, frustrated, and he'd even seen him cry once or twice. But this was a different side of Jack all together. He looked so much younger and peaceful when he slept. Leaning forward Ianto pressed his lips to the soft forehead, taking a moment to breathe in Jack's scent of cologne and watermelon shampoo. **

**o0o**

**Martha stepped into the bedroom three and a half hours later, expecting to find Jack in the bathroom being ill or something. What she found instead made her smile. Jack slept on his side, curled into Ianto's arms, who was facing Jack. Both men were fast asleep on the bed, securely wrapped in each other's arms. She studied both men for a moment, Ianto asleep, looked so much younger than his twenty-five years. His face was smoother, making him look far more innocent than she knew him to be. Jack's face had tightened; he was obviously in some pain, the beginning stages no doubt. Even with all the pain he looked more relaxed than she'd seen him in a long time. She almost hated to wake them, but she needed to check on Jack, and Ianto deserved a break. **

**Moving over to the two men, she gently brushed Ianto's hair from his forehead, bringing him out of his light sleep with her touch. He turned his head to look up at her over his shoulder. "Time is it?"**

**"Almost two, they have some food upstairs if you want some. Take a break I'll stay with him for awhile."**

**Ianto looked back at the figure in his arms. "Come get me if he needs something."**

**She nodded, "You know I will."**

**Ianto gently began to untangle himself from his lover's arms, wincing as Jack elicited a groan; though Ianto wasn't sure if it was because of the loss of warmth, or because Jack was in pain. Once he was standing again he leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Jack's temple. "I'm always with you."**

**Martha watched him go quietly for a moment before she turned back to look at Jack, he'd curled up further into a ball, preserving the lost heat. In only a matter of hours his face was pale and drawn. "Wish the Doctor was here," she murmured softly. **

**"Wouldn't make much of a difference," came the weak whisper. **

**Martha's eyes met pain filled blue ones. "I didn't mean to wake you."**

**"Then you probably shouldn't have woken Ianto up." replied Jack as he closed his eyes against the brutality of the lighting. **

**Martha noticed his forehead stitch in pain, "What's wrong? How can I help?"**

**He groaned. "Get me to the bathroom."**

**She waited just outside the door, grimacing at the sound of the vomiting that sounded so forced. She was about to walk out of the room to get him something to drink when she heard a cry from inside, "MARTHA!" She never recalled Jack Harkness sounding so completely terrified. She burst into the bathroom, not caring about his privacy anymore. She felt her heart sink at the sight before her, for starts his body seemed to have gone on mass revolt. His pants and shirt were completely soiled; he looked completely lost and miserable. The next thing she noticed was the smell of iron in the air. She looked down into the toilet.**

** "Shit!" She raced out of the room and up the stairs. "Owen! Ianto! Get down here now!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. She raced downstairs to the medical bay and grabbed some towels and a basin. Ianto and Owen were two steps in front of her as they headed back into the room. **

**The first thing that hit them was the overwhelming stench of vomit and feces. Sometime between when Martha had left the room and their return he'd lost consciousness and was now lying on his side. "Damn, I think we can skip the latent stage, Ianto—"**

**The tea boy lover stepped forward and gently turned on the shower, filling the tub with warm water. He looked back at the two doctors. "This is only the beginning isn't it?"**

**"Yes, and it's definitely only going to get worse. Do you want help?"**

**Ianto sighed. "No, I'll clean this up, what does the blood mean Owen?"**

**"He's already bleeding internally I'm afraid. When he's finished come get us, he's going to need to be monitored at all times now."**

**Ianto looked back down at his lover and felt tears in his eyes. "You're safe Jack, you'll be safe with me." **

**Owen and Martha both slipped out of the room, leaving to prepare to monitor Jack much closer than originally planned. Meanwhile Ianto slowly began to strip Jack of his soiled clothes, before carefully lifting the man and depositing him into the tub. "I love you so much," Ianto whispered, pressing a kiss to the man's head. **

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Had Better Days**

**Jack eyes fluttered open slowly; the first thing he was aware of was the pain, racing through his every fiber followed closely by a cotton-like feeling: pain killers. The second thing he noted was the dim lights. He was in the bedroom, wearing a pair of flannel bottoms that he was pretty sure belonged to Ianto and no shirt. Moving his head he bit back a moan of pain as he was able to move just enough to see Gwen sleeping in the chair beside his bed. He had a flash of memory and felt his cheeks grow warm at the recollection of messing himself. **

**Another jolt of pain sent all humiliation from his mind as his muscles convulsed slightly, tiny tremors that felt like he was being ripped apart. He couldn't stop the whimper that escaped from his lips. He was vaguely aware of the gentle hand on top of his head, a damp cloth placed on his forehead. "It's okay Jack, deep breaths." Gwen's beautiful Welsh vowels filled his ears. **

**"Dying?" He whimpered as he tried to move away from the pain, but his body wouldn't have that. That's when Jack noticed his hands were wrapped with gauze, half way up to his elbows. "Yan?" **

**Gwen continued to run her fingers through his silky hair, "He's sleeping in your quarters, do you want Ianto?"**

**His lips pursed in pain and his eyes scrunched as he tried to hold back the flood of tears. "Just hold on, I'll go get him." she whispered as she hurried out of the room. Owen was seated at his desk, half asleep; Martha sprawled out on the couch. "He's in pain," she stated as she rushed towards his office. Those words alone jolted Martha and Owen from their light sleeping. Gwen moved over to Jack's normal quarters. "He's asking for you Ianto."**

**Moments later Ianto was sitting beside Jack's head, caressing his hair as Martha and Owen looked Jack over for further problems. Owen let out a shaky breath as he looked down at Jack. "We can only give you so much pain medication Jack, too much and we'll over dose you."**

**"Kill me," he whimpered quietly, his eyes still shut against the pain. **

**Owen glanced around at the room and took another moment before he spoke. "Can I have a minute alone with Jack please?"**

**All eyes were on Owen. "Owen you can't—" Gwen began, but a stare from Owen silenced her. **

**Ianto leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jack's head. "I'll be back."**

**Owen was silent until the door behind him was closed. Moving over to the bed**** he took a seat next to Jack, being wary of his obvious injuries. "Jack, radiation kills DNA, it manipulates it. As of right now, unless you tell me otherwise, I have no proof that this won't kill you permanently. If the radiation is breaking down your DNA, the very chains of who you are then it's entirely possible that this could be the end."**

**Jack's blue eyes were hazy as he stared back at Owen, gritting his teeth in pain. "Gonna die anyway."**

**"Probably, but do you really want us to kill you? Look I was barely with it when I shot you before, and I regret every moment of that decision. I know this hurts, but I also know you don't want any of us living with the possible guilt of killing you and you never coming back."**

**Jack slowly nodded. "How long?"**

**"Well you've been out for nearly twenty-four hours already—at the rate this is progressing, a week maybe ten days."**

**"How bad?"**

**Owen shook his head. "Bad."**

**"Say goodbyes?"**

**"Jack—" **

**The Captain took a shaky lung full of air. "If this is it—then I want to say goodbye. If it's not—then you all have," he grimaced as pain lanced through his body, "The right to know how I feel."**

"Well we're taking shifts, it's Gwen's turn right now. Do you want me to send her in?"

Jack nodded briefly before he closed his eyes to the pain again. Hoping maybe when he opened them the pain would be gone. Owen took the moment to look at his Captain silently; his heart ached watching the man suffer. He hated himself for being such a coward, but he'd taken so many lives, and while Jack may have an endless supply, Owen wasn't willing to risk anything this big. He took one final glance at the man before he slipped out of the room. He was met by Gwen, Ianto, Martha and Tosh. 

"Tell me you didn't—" Owen held up his hand, stopping Ianto's sentence. 

Shaking his head, Owen took a slow breath of air. "No I didn't. We're going to continue our shifts and monitoring. His sores are beginning to develop already, I've seen a couple. We're going to have to give him sponge baths, try to keep them from getting infected."

"I'll do it." Ianto spoke up. 

"I figured as much. Gwen still has another hour with him, and then you can take over for a little while."

o0o

Ianto sat in the tourist office, he had a file he was supposed to be working on open in front of him. However, his mind was lost in time. He was busy thinking about everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. Jack was usually such a strong person, a strong character leading them into battle. Ianto felt his eyes burn with unshed tears, as a part of him realized he ached to be with Jack. Not just in a sexual sense, sure he loved being with Jack, he'd been perfectly honest with Martha in telling her he was innovative—bordering on avant-garde. As flirtatious as Jack was, he was twice that in bed and then some. Full of surprises. But Ianto wanted more, he needed more. He'd realized shortly after Jack's return from his disappearance with Martha and the Doctor, that it wasn't just about the sex. At least not for him; he wanted more, he wanted that person who would be there in the morning, willing to just snuggle. Problem was that wasn't what Jack wanted. At least, that's what Ianto thought. 

Someone cleared their throat, startling Ianto from his thoughts, glancing up from his stupor—and his file—he met Martha's doe brown eyes. "How is he?" Ianto asked immediately, concerned and knowing that Jack was the reason for her being up there.

Martha shrugged as she moved around behind the counter until she was sitting on a stool beside him, shoulder to shoulder with him. "Sleeping right now, Owen wanted him to rest and knew the only way he could do that was if he was pain free."

"I've watched him die fourteen times," Ianto whispered, he offering a side long glance before continuing. "It doesn't get any easier; in fact it only gets worse."

"There's a lot he hasn't told you Ianto—that time he was gone, it was probably worse for him than any of us. You have the right to know, press him I think you'll be surprised how much he shares with you."

"We've tried to get him talking before—"

"Not the team Ianto, just you. Jack cares about you."

Ianto shook his head. "He cares about all of us."

She laughed softly. "For someone so very smart, you certainly are stupid. Haven't you ever seen the way he looks at you? Like he could get lost in your gaze forever. Sometimes when he looks at you, it looks like the rest of the world disappears to him."

"Doesn't matter, he's not the settling type."

"Everyone says that, until they find someone worth settling with. Ianto, you are worth every ounce of love he can give. Tell me something, has he slept with anyone since he's returned?"

"No."

"You don't find that a bit odd, that a man as obsessed with sex as him hasn't slept with anyone since…well since you?"

"Well he's been busy most nights." Ianto offered, before realizing what he'd just said and what he actually meant. Martha, can the Doctor change people?"

"What do you mean?"

Ianto's mind was already churning. Looking at her he took a slow breath. "If I were to ask him to make me…immortal could he do it?"

"I don't know." She honestly replied. "Though you might want to talk about that with Jack. He hates it Ianto, he hates knowing he's got forever."

"He hates it because he's alone. He doesn't have to be alone forever."

o0o

Gwen sat beside Jack's bed. He was stable for now, but he looked so pale and drawn. He appeared thinner than he had even yesterday and red, bloody, sticky sores were beginning to form all over his body. He'd be running a fever for the past several hours, alternating between shivering with chills and blistering from a fever. All they could do was keep him as comfortable as possible. She noticed, after several minutes, that Jack's eyes were wide open but he seemed to be staring at something far off. 

"Jack? Do you want me to get Owen?"

Jack tried not to scoff; he'd spent half of the last day semi-lucid. He was as free of pain as he was going to get right now. "No."

"What's wrong love?" She asked leaning closer to him. She used a wash cloth to gently mop his brow, running her fingers through his silky hair. 

"Love you all, so much."

Gwen smiled. "We love you too. Jack you're going to be fine."

He nodded weakly. "I know—I'm sorry I left, I had to go. Please understand." He whimpered his pain was beginning to mount again with each passing moment. 

"Shh, it's okay. Jack we've forgiven you. Sure, it frustrates us at times that you swan off without so much as a word, but you came back. That's all that matters." She wasn't about to fight about this. Truth was that in the past several months that he'd been home she found herself happier than ever. She loved Jack; a part of her loved him like a possible lover. But after everything she'd been through with Rhys, the wedding, and him being shot—she was truly in love with Rhys. Jack was her best friend and the closest thing she'd ever had to a brother. While she truly did love him, he added a different dimension to her life. "Jack you're going to survive, you'll be fine an' we're all going to go back to our not-so-normal lives."

"What's normal?" he gave a sharp laugh that turned into a groan. A wave of pain washed over him, as she held him through the mini convulsions. "God this sucks." He whimpered.

She pressed her lips to his forehead. "I know Jack, it'll be over soon." Gwen hummed softly as Jack slipped back into unconsciousness. She sighed, feeling so horrible for him. How many times would Jack have to suffer? And it wasn't even death. Jack suffered for every decision he made, whether it was dying to save the world, or him losing someone he loved. It didn't seem fair, they'd all been through hell but for him it was different. The pain would never end. "I hope the pain is outweighed by the love."

"It is." A deep baritone voice startled her from her thoughts. Turning, she smiled as Ianto appeared in the doorway, he'd removed his suit coat and was standing with his sleeves rolled up above his elbows, tie loosened around his neck. His eyes held a hint of stress, but the rest of his body seemed relaxed. "He told me once, late at night—don't think he was really awake enough to know what he was saying—but he told me that he'd rather enjoy every moment he has like it was the last. He wouldn't trade this in for anything; he's loved people he never would have loved anywhere else." Ianto smiled sadly at the memory of those nights. 

"Like you?" she questioned.

Ianto shrugged. "Perhaps, he's enigmatic at best; it's hard to tell what love is and what a fun sex toy is. I'd like to think there's a reason it's me that he always seeks out."

Gwen stood up slowly; walking over to her friend she reached out and gripped his hands in hers. "He may not openly say it, but he loves you. He has a look about him when he's with you, the same look Rhys gets when he watches me, or Tosh had with Tommy and Mary, Owen with Diane." Stepping up on her tiptoes she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight Ianto."

He smiled as he watched her head towards the door. "Goodnight Gwen, give Rhys our love." He replied softly. 

"Yan?" a weak voice called from the bed.

Ianto smiled, he'd arranged the schedule enough so that he was always the one staying with Jack during the late hours. There was no one else around; Martha was likely sleeping in Jack's quarters, prepared if she was needed. But this was time so that Ianto could care for Jack. "It's time for a bath."

Jack smirked weakly. "Just want me naked." He replied half-heartedly. 

Ianto chuckled as he stepped into the bathroom to prepare for the sponge bath. Moments later, he stepped to Jack's side. He set the basin on the floor before reaching out and gently removing Jack's shirt. Even with all the care in the world Jack let out several cries of pain. "I'm sorry." Was all Ianto could offer as he completely removed the shirt. "Why don't we talk, maybe it'll distract you from the pain."

Jack nodded weakly as he shivered when Ianto touched his chest, those long nimble fingers. Even near death, Jack could feel the obvious affects from Ianto. He could smell the man, coffee, dust and—"Are you using my watermelon shampoo?" Jack asked incredulously as he grew a little more lucid. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Try to relax, I promise to be gentle." He touched the washcloth to one of the sores, taking extra care to not hurt Jack further. 

"What do you wanna know?" Jack asked in between hisses of pain. 

"Whatever you wish to tell me." He sponged at some softer spots; his eyes took note of the chest. Jack had lost weight in a matter of hours, his ribs already beginning to poke out, his stomach was black and blue from the early stages of internal bleeding. 

Jack gave a cry of pain as Ianto swabbed at another sore. Huffing he tried to bite his lip. "I'm sorry!" he sobbed. 

Ianto shook his head, unable to stop his own tears from shining in his eyes. "Talk to me Jack. I'm so sorry."

"Born—I was born in the 51st century…5224!" he cried out again as Ianto continued the bath. "A mom and dad, just like every other kid—baby brother, Grey." He whimpered at the painful memory of his little brother combined with the pain tearing through his body. 

"What was your little brother like?"

Jack let out a harsh sob. "Adorable, great kid. But I lost him! Oh God!" he sobbed openly. 

Ianto stopped, seeing that Jack needed a moment, he reached out and gently pressed his lips to Jack's. That seemed to distract the Captain slightly as Jack instantly tried to deepen the kiss. Ianto felt his heart ache, Jack tasted of salt and iron. "I'm here Jack. Right here. How did you get to the twenty-first century then?" He asked pulling away slightly. 

"I was a Time Agent, don't ask it's a long story—" He squeezed his eyes in pain and took a deep breath as Ianto continued. "I went rogue when they stole two years from me. Two years of my memory. Became a conman, just like John."

"What changed you?"

"The Doctor and his companion at the time, Rose. Took me in—but things went a little wrong. She didn't mean to, but Rose was in control of a lot of power, brought me back from the dead."

"Permanently." Ianto finished in a whisper as he met Jack's hazy, pain filled blue eyes.

"She did it out of love." Jack whimpered softly as he watched Ianto. 

Ianto nodded as he pulled down Jack's pants and continued the bath, his legs weren't as bad yet. Ianto hopped this wouldn't hurt Jack as much. "That's why you went with him? Did you love him?" Ianto didn't need to hear answer he could see the pain and tears on Jack's face. 

"Yes, but he wasn't the same man I loved. He's changed—maybe for the better—He called me wrong. Said I was impossible. We went to the end of the fucking universe and all I did was cause him more pain."

"What happened?"

Jack let out a pitiful sob. "Lots of stuff, which led to me being chained and killed on a daily basis by a madman."

Ianto stopped at Jack's words. He felt his heart pounding. "You—"

"I've died three hundred times Ianto, and at least two hundred and fifty of those were more creative and painful than this will ever be."

"How—" Ianto hated himself for asking this question. "What kept you going?"

Jack let out half a sob and half a laugh. "Aside from being a freak!" 

Ianto snapped at those words, reaching out as quickly as he could he gripped Jack's jaw, being mindful of hurting him. "You listen to me Jack Harkness, you are not a freak! You may be immortal and you may not be normal but you aren't wrong and you are not a freak! Whoever that bastard who said that, was he was wrong. You are wonderful."

"You." Jack whispered, his eyes shining with a fresh bath of tears.

Ianto was surprised. "What?"

"You kept me going. I had to believe there was a reason I would continue to live. It was you. I held onto the idea that if I got out of this I'd be coming home to you."

"Jack—"

The Captain shook his head suddenly. "I've spent over a hundred and sixty years jumping from bed to bed, with only a handful of partners and lovers. None like you Ianto Jones—" he bit his lip at another flare of pain before he took a shuddering breath and continued. "I don't know what you want from this. But anything you want and I'll give it to you. I'll spend the rest of your life being domestic if it means I get to keep you at my side. I learned in that year you're the one thing I don't want to live without."

Ianto felt his cheeks grow damp as he moved carefully behind Jack, curling his body protectively around the other man, being wary of the sores. "I'm here Jack, for as long as I can be." Which would be forever if Ianto had his way, closing his eyes and as he listened to Jack's whimpers and slow breathing he made up his mind; tomorrow he'd tell Martha to call the Doctor. 

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Three Doctors and an Unhappy Tea Boy**

Ianto brought up the subject of the Doctor early the following morning with Martha during her morning check up with Jack. She finally agreed to call him, but warned Ianto that he may not come. Ianto knew better, he'd met the Doctor once and knew that the man would never forsake his former companions. 

Four days later, the Doctor arrived in his TARDIS. Jack's state had worsened to the point where he was under heavy sedation most of the day, unaware of who was sitting with him and talking. The only times he appeared even semi lucid when Ianto was in the room with him, and even then it was only because Ianto had taken to singing Welsh lullabies to the dying man. 

Ianto sat in the tourist office when the door opened and a man in a pin stripped suit stepped in. Ianto took a moment to study the man before him. Wild brown hair, equally wild brown eyes. He was skinny, a little too skinny for Ianto's taste, though he was quite handsome. 

"Ianto Jones I presume." The man spoke with a sure tone about him. 

"You're the Doctor?"

"That would be me, Martha said this was important?"

Ianto nodded as he pushed the button that led to the hub. "Follow me." The Doctor nodded and followed the younger man down. Moments later they were standing in the hub of Torchwood. Brown eyes gazed upward. "He never was much for decorating. Nice pterodactyl." He stated casually. 

"Thanks, her name is Myfanwy. Welcome to Torchwood three."

"Right, where's Jack?" The Doctor assumed this had something to do with his former traveler. 

Ianto walked off without replying. The Doctor took the hint and followed the man down a set of stairs. Ianto stopped at a heavy wooden door, glancing over his shoulder he sighed. "You might want to prepare yourself. He looks—bad."

The Doctor's eye brows rose in surprise, but he felt all the air rush from his lungs as Ianto pushed the door open. There on a bed in the corner lay Jack, or at least someone who looked like Jack. He was covered in red welts and bloody sores. White bandages covered nearly every part of his upper body; several bandages were patched with red spots. There was an IV by the bed but Jack wasn't hooked up to them. Jack's body was thin and frail; nothing like the man the Doctor had come to know. "What happened to him?" The Doctor raced over to the man's side, bypassing the sleeping figure of Tosh. 

"He has radiation poisoning. He's dying a very slow and painful death."

The Doctor looked at the figure and felt his hearts ache at the sight. Reaching out, his hand shaking, he gently brushed the hair from Jack's face. "Oh my sweet Jack. I'm so sorry." He whispered sadly. "Why isn't he on painkillers?" 

By this time Tosh had woken and Martha stood in the doorway. "Because the site of the IV port wouldn't stop bleeding, we had to remove it. His bone marrow is completely destroyed, his internal organs are melting."

The Doctor looked over at Martha. "You've been here the whole time?"

She nodded. "He needed me. Because radiation alters DNA we're not actually sure if he's going to come back to life this time. Ianto decided you should have the chance to say goodbye should he not come back."

"Martha you know—"

She shook her head. "Do I? Because what I saw in New New York isn't anything like what I'm witnessing here. You said it yourself Doctor, time isn't a straight line, you can be born in the 51st century, live through the twentieth and twenty-first, go to the ends of the universe and still die in the twenty-first."

"His time line gives me a headache." Murmured the Doctor gently. 

"Can you stop this?" Ianto questioned.

The Doctor sighed as he looked at Ianto. "No, I can do many things but even I can't stop radiation sickness. Certainly not this late in the game. He's only got a few more days, if he's lucky."

"Seems more like unlucky to me." Ianto replied. "Doctor may I see you privately?" 

The Time Lord studied the younger man, Jack's lover. Nodding briefly he gave a quick glance back to Jack before he stood up and moved towards Martha in the doorway. Without hesitation he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "How's UNIT?"

She smiled. "They're good."

Nodding he pulled out a key and handed it to her. "Go to the TARDIS, in the medical bay I've got some strong pain medication that will help him. Ask her where it is, she'll show you. Bring it back here and we'll administer it."

"Okay."

Once he was finished speaking with her, the Doctor followed Ianto back up to the hub, moments later he was standing in the middle of what he assumed was the conference room. "What can I do for you Ianto?"

"If he lives, I want you to change me."

"I'm sorry?" The Doctor replied scratching his head.

Ianto nodded. "He needs someone. Obviously it isn't you, but he shouldn't have to go through the rest of his life without someone."

"It doesn't work like that Ianto."

"Then make it work like that. Find a way, you're a Time Lord—I've done some research of my own Doctor. You do impossible on a daily basis."

"I didn't make Jack immortal."

"No, maybe not but I'm betting you know more than you can say."

Sighing, the Doctor rubbed his eyes, squeezing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Why would you want to live forever?"

"I spent eight months without him, the worst eight months of my life. I lost my girl friend in Canary Warf, but the idea that I may never have to lose Jack—it's a security blanket knowing he's always going to be there. He doesn't have that. He's going to spend his entire life alone."

"No he won't—"

"Don't you get it!" yelled Ianto. Suddenly realizing he was yelling he took a slow deep breath and straightened further. "I've seen the pain in his eyes Doctor. When one of us gets hurt there's a look of sheer panic there. No, naturally he doesn't want us to see it. But he lets me in. Tell me something Doctor, if you could have spent the rest of your life with someone you loved, would you do it? If you could have saved Rose, if she had lived forever—"

The heat of the Doctor's glare was almost painful. "No, no one should live forever."

"No one should live alone forever either. But you two are stuck on the same road, the only difference is you can come and go. He can't. He's going to spend the rest of his life trying to catch up with his past. He shouldn't have to be alone. I'm willing to give him something no one else will."

"I would have."

"You called him wrong."

It was the Doctor's turn to squirm slightly under the heat of Ianto's stare. "Let's say I can do this. What do you think Jack would say? Because you're going to have to tell me. I'm not going to change you and suddenly let him find out when you get shot then come back to life in his arms."

"It's not his choice."

The Doctor shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. You better make sure you both know exactly what you're doing. This isn't some decision like what puppy to buy. You make this choice you'll be making it forever."

"I'll speak to him—will you stay?"

"I'll stay."

o0o

It wasn't until nearly a day later that the Doctor got up the guts to sit down in the same room with Jack. He had Martha and Ianto to blame for that. Sighing, he slowly stepped into the room. Jack was getting worse, it was apparent at this point that Jack's time was coming sooner rather than later. While he knew the truth that Jack would likely survive this just like every other time, he wouldn't deny the slight shudder deep in his hearts. 

Guilt raced through his veins as he looked at the man before him. Ianto was right, Jack had suffered so much and most of it was the Doctor's fault.

_"I wish I'd never met you Doctor, I was better off as a coward."_ If he'd known, all those times they'd seen the face of Boe, they'd never even noticed. Jack realized the face of Boe was just as prevent in their travels as Bad Wolf was. He'd never noticed. Jack had been following them. The ancient being following those he loved simply to get one more glimpse of them. 

He felt his eyes burn realizing what he'd done. He would swoop in, cause catastrophes then leave before cleaning up after himself. This time Jack was the victim. At the time he'd wanted to believe he'd left Jack for all the right reasons. But truthfully Jack had been right, he'd been prejudice. He'd been terrified of Rose's creation. He was the reason Jack was on that space station where he was killed by the Daleks, and if that had been all it was he probably could have lived with Jack's death. But he was also the reason Rose took it upon herself to commit the ultimate Lazarus. He was the reason that Jack had died so many times, the reason Jack had been tortured and the reason Rose was gone. 

"Feeling sorry isn't going to make it go away." Jack's weak whisper mixed into the Doctor's thoughts. 

"I keep forgetting you're telepathic."

"Only slightly, though to be fair the dead could probably hear you with the amount of guilt you're laying on yourself."

"Do you blame me?" The Doctor questioned as he came over and sat down on the bed, looking at the figure before him. 

"Sometimes yes. Doesn't matter. I've learned in my time that when you've got forever there are better things to do than stay bitter."

"I'm so tired Jack."

"Me too Doctor, but these people are worth all the exhaustion."

"Even the death?"

"Especially the death. If it means I get to wake up to their faces—I love them."

The Doctor smiled sadly. "You love Mr. Jones?"

Jack's smile turned into a grimace. "Probably most of all."

"The intergalactic play boy has been domesticated."

Jack let out a sharp laugh that rapidly turned into a hacking cough. Both men grimaced at the sight of the blood on Jack's hand as he took it from his mouth. "God this sucks." Jack murmured.

"What if I told you I could lengthen his life span?"

"Yan's?"

"Yep. What would you say?"

Jack shook his head. "No one should be forced to live forever."

The Doctor shrugged. "Wouldn't really be forcing as he's the one who demanded I do it."

"Did you?" Jack's eyes were full of hope and perhaps a shred of fear. 

"No." The Doctor was stunned when he saw the hope and fear turn into sadness before walls were suddenly slammed back into place. "But I could."

"How long?"

Shrugging the Doctor busied himself with checking a few of Jack's bandages. "Probably should change your dressings soon."

"How long?"

"Probably a millennia, maybe two if you're lucky, he'd still get sick, injured an' all that. But I could slow down his aging process considerably and speed up his healing process. He'd essentially become immortal like you, at least for a long time."

"Does he know?"

"He doesn't know how long, but he knows I can do it."

Jack felt the hoping thudding through his aching body. "It's his decision."

"Yes it is, but seeing as you'd be the one spending forever with him, you should probably take part in that decision. Tell me Jack, would you actually settle down? You really don't strike me as that type of man."

Jack smiled weakly. "For him I might."

o0o

Night had descended upon the Hub, the Doctor had taken off for a few hours, promising to be back before morning and that he had to check some things out. Gwen had gone home to Rhys feeling completely worn out from the past several days. In truth this was taking a toll on everyone having to watch Jack suffer so horribly. Martha had gone home with Gwen after a lot of persuasion. She would be sleeping on the nice comfy couch and get a home cooked meal. Rhys had been all too happy to have the company as well, he'd found a special place in his heart for Torchwood—and they'd found quite a spot for him as well. Owen was out for a few hours, getting a shower and such. He needed to unwind, he'd promised to keep his phone nearby at all times in case of an emergency. Leaving Ianto and Tosh alone in the Hub. With Jack being in the later stages of radiation sickness they'd decided two people should be at hand at all times. Ianto was cleaning up and handling some unfinished paper work. Tosh was seated beside Jack's bed side. 

"You know it's funny because we always talk about how Torchwood rules our lives. But sometimes, this is the only life I have, Jack. I guess this is my way of saying that I don't blame you for Mary or Tommy. I've waited all my life for someone, anyone to notice me."

She jumped nearly a mile when she felt a hand against hers. Looking down she noticed Jack's eyes were open, though filled with pain and one was red from an earlier hemorrhaging problem. "I did." He whispered, his voice cracked and strained. "You are special. It's why I chose you."

"We were all special?"

"Every one of you in your own way."

"Sometimes I hate myself for letting Torchwood consume me."

He smiled sadly as he managed to squeeze her hand. "Beautiful an' he's out there."

Leaning over Jack, Tosh pressed her lips to his, mindful of his sores. When she pulled away she noticed the grin on his face. "What?" she questioned.

"Just gettin' all the kissin' action." he replied.

"At death's door and you still talk about sex." She huffed playfully.

"You could bury me an' I'd still be thinkin' bout sex." He answered as he tried to hold back a moan of pain. 

"Oi!" Ianto stated as he entered the room. A smile was on his face, it was all they could do some days to keep sane. It made him feel better to hear Jack joke at these moments. 

"She kissed me!" Jack offered in return, though he was weak, he tried his best to appear that he was feeling well. 

"Your charms are just that irresistible."

Tosh smirked as she stood up slowly. "Call me if you need me, I'm going to step out for a bite."

"Of course." Ianto watched her leave, his hands shoved in his pockets he turned back to his lover. "I miss you."

"Miss you too. It's almost over." Jack's voice was full of pain now. A part of Ianto felt honored in knowing that Jack didn't feel like he had to hide anything from Ianto. He didn't feel like he had to be strong for the younger man. Perhaps it was Jack's way of saying he knew Ianto was strong by himself. 

"Can you feel it?"

Jack arched in pain slightly and nodded, his eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry you—keep seeing this."

Ianto shook his head as he stepped over to the bed and took Jack's hand. "Don't be."

"When I get back—you and me are—" he cried out in pain, curling in on himself as he struggled to maintain composure. "We're gonna talk."

"Shh, just try and relax. It's all going to be over soon."

"Tell—tell Owen DNR."

Ianto knew what it meant, he merely nodded. It wasn't like trying to resuscitate Jack would help at this point. He was going to die, Ianto could feel it too. "This isn't the end Jack, when you come back we'll have forever."

"Love you." Jack whimpered as he arched up in pain one more time before he collapsed, unconscious. 

Ianto felt his heart begin to pound in his chest, reaching out he pressed to fingers to Jack's neck. His pulse was weak and thready. "I love you too." Ianto whispered as he closed his eyes and placed his head beside Jack's.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: **

Ianto was fast asleep at Jack's side when the Doctor returned. Feeling more confident than he had in days, the Doctor strode into Torchwood Three's hub with coffee and doughnuts abound. "What's gotten you in such a good mood?" Martha asked. 

Martha and Gwen had arrived an hour before to find Ianto and Jack fast asleep. They decided that it was best not to wake them they left them like that so, monitoring them from up in the hub. Owen had arrived ten minutes before the Doctor and had agreed with Martha's course of action. They all dug into the food and coffee. The Doctor smiled as he looked at Martha. "I did a little research, didn't want to make any mistakes."

"And?" Martha asked softly, not wanting to inform the others just in case. 

The Doctor smiled as he wrapped an arm around her. "They have twin boys and a girl."

"Really?"

The Doctor nodded. "How is he?" 

"As far as we can tell, his condition hasn't changed much. He's got a rapid pulse and it's weakening. There's fluid in his lungs—he's in the final stages. It's only a matter of hours at this point." Owen offered from his station. 

"Well then, what can we do to make this as painless as possible?"

Owen shrugged. "I've been measuring brain activity for the past hour he's already slipped into a coma. If he feels anything it won't be much." 

The Doctor nodded. "All right then, Ianto may I have a word with you privately?"

The younger man nodded as he followed the Doctor to the Conference room. Ianto was aware that all eyes were on him. They closed the doors and Ianto took a seat, waiting for the Doctor to speak. "What do you know about time travel Ianto?"

Ianto shrugged. "Not much."

"All right then, allow me to give you a brief lesson. Time is not—in any way—a straight line; you'll do well to remember that for the rest of your life. A lot of things brought us to this point in time. It never stands still; it's constantly repeating itself throughout history. By meeting Rose nearly four years ago, I changed her history and mine. There was a reason we met when we did, at that exact moment. Even still, when we met Jack; we were never meant to meet him until Rose came into my life. It caught me off guard. We saved him, and changed his life. Then he died—if I hadn't left him I would have changed the outcome of all of your lives, yourself included. In fact it's entirely plausible that had I stayed and kept him, he'd either be dead forever or you never would have lost Lisa. But I left him behind. If it wasn't for Canary Warf—which is, in part, my fault—you wouldn't have met Jack. And by meeting Jack you changed the outcome of your life."

"Sir?" Ianto wasn't quite following. 

"I don't normally tell people how their lives are going to turn out. It messes with history Ianto and it's dangerous. But I left yesterday because I had to make sure of some things, you see when Jack became immortal it changed his entire existence. It will change yours if I do this for you."

"What did you go check?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I just did some cross referencing Time Lord style."

"And?"

"Well for one, Jack's going to be just fine. And two, you will be also. It's going to be one hell of a journey, Ianto but I guarantee you—it's going to be fantastic!" 

Ianto was completely lost now, but the Doctor's grin was contagious so Ianto smiled all the same. 

_"Ianto, you need to get down here. Jack's woken up and…well he's screaming for you."_ Owen's voice filled Ianto's Bluetooth. 

"We're on our way Owen." Ianto replied as he stood up and hurried out of the room, unaware that the Doctor was right on his heels. 

The room was a disaster; Jack was screaming and crying as he all but arched off the bed in pain. In between his screams of pain and fear he was yelling for Ianto reaching out for someone that wasn't there. It was as if he was having a fit or nightmare of some sort. Tosh and Gwen were standing against the far wall, watching with tears trailing down their cheeks as Owen and Martha tried to stop him. Though it was impossible to try and stop him without hurting him further, but if they didn't stop him he'd only hurt himself further. 

Ianto stepped into the room and closed his eyes, bracing himself for what was to come, they'd hit the moment. "Jack!" he yelled at the top of his voice, not used to using any harsh tones against the Captain. He strode over to the bed in a matter of steps, reaching out he gripped Jack's hands as gently as possible while bringing them to his face. "I'm right here Jack. Focus on my voice."

A whimper escaped Jack's bruised and bloodied lips. "Make him stop." He sobbed.

"Who?"

"Master, please!" 

The Doctor's eyes widened in horror as Martha and Ianto both looked at him. He stepped over to the bed and gently held Jack's face in his hands. "Jack, the Master is gone, he's never going to hurt you again. I promise."

"Why does it hurt?" He sobbed.

The Doctor bit his lip at that familiar phrase, leaning over he pressed his lips to Jack's. "I think you need a Doctor." Leaning down he opened his mouth, giving Jack a kiss, closing his eyes he dipped into Jack's mind. _"Jack, don't be scared. You're dying. Let go."_

_"Where are we?"Jack turned towards him surprised. _

_"In your mind. Jack, it's time."_

_"Will I be okay?"_

_"I promise you're going to be safe. Let go Jack. It's time to let go."_

_"It hurts so bad."_

_The Doctor smiled as he gripped the younger man's face. "You are better off as a hero. Now let go Jack, release your burden, you'll never be alone again."_

_"Promise?"_

_"I promise."_

When the Doctor slowly sat up the heart monitor went flat, Jack's head lulled to the side. 

"What have you done?" Sobbed Ianto as he sat beside his lover. 

"Don't touch him!" ordered the Doctor. "It's time for him to go."

"Will he…" Gwen whimpered from the corner before she covered her mouth. Tosh turned towards the other woman and pulled her into a hug. Owen, who'd been watching with his heart in his throat reached out and pulled Martha towards him slightly, as if seeking her warmth and strength. 

The Doctor smiled sadly as he reached out and pressed on hand to Ianto's chest. He pressed his palm flat against the young man's heart, then with his opposite hand he touched Jack's hand. "That's up to him. But from what I've seen, Jack has a lot to live for."

Owen took a slow breath. "Let's unhook him Martha. Ladies why don't you go upstairs." Tosh nodded slowly as she led Gwen out the door, her own face damp with tears. Owen turned towards Ianto and sighed. "Don't s'pose you're going anywhere?"

"I don't want him to be alone when he wakes up."

The Doctor smiled as he looked at Ianto. "He's never going to be alone again, at least not for a very long time. I'm going to go back to the TARDIS for a while, come get me when he wakes."

"Will he wake?" Martha asked this time.

Glancing at Ianto again, the Doctor smiled. "I would if I was him."

o0o

No matter what, Ianto would never get used to the idea that Jack could die and come back to life. After the Abbadon incident he'd been dead for nearly a week. How long would he be gone this time? He sat quietly next to the bed; it had been twelve hours already. They'd removed all the bandages, him and Martha. Taking great care to not disturb him. Ianto let out a forced laugh at the thought of disturbing a man who was already dead. He sat beside the bed a wash cloth in hand gently cleaning Jack's body. The sores were still all over Jack's body, he'd grown cold in the past twelve hours. He hadn't eaten, hadn't slept, just like Gwen when she'd taken care of Jack after Abbadon. Ianto felt lost without his presence there. 

And he wasn't there, sure his body was here physically, but Jack was gone. No matter how temporarily, he wasn't in the room. Ianto realized Jack had a distinctive presence to him. He wasn't sure how other people would describe it, but he felt it in his heart and in his mind every time Jack stepped into a room. When Jack was in the room Ianto felt safe, as if a sort of blanket had fallen over his shoulders or there was an invisible arm wrapped around his waist. Jack radiated compassion most of the time especially for his team. Compassion and protectiveness. Ianto had always known as long as Jack was there they were generally safe. Then there was their relationship. Though awkward at times, Jack made Ianto feel loved in a way he'd never felt before. He'd given him meaning again, something to look forward to every morning and think about each night. 

Ianto looked down at the pale face of his Captain. "Please come back." He whimpered as he gripped the bruised hand in his, whimpering as he pressed it to his cheek. He curled up beside the body, as if Jack were still with him and gently began to run his hand through the silky hair, leaving it there. 

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: **

Torchwood didn't slow down while Jack was dead. Two weeks passed in a blur of rift activity. Martha and the Doctor stuck around to help out here and there. But it was obvious that the team's heart wasn't in it. The Doctor watched as an outsider with interest. He'd never really seen how other people truly took to Jack, but if his team was any indication, Jack had surrounded himself with quite a team.

First there was Owen, who seemed to naturally take over the position as leader of the group, though Gwen gave him a run for his money at times. Owen was abrasive at the best of times. But he was strong and sure of himself, perhaps a little too sure. The Doctor had seen something in those eyes. Something that he was fairly sure no one else knew about. Every time Owen touched Jack, or checked on him, the Doctor saw love there. Not the kind of love he saw between Jack and Ianto, but a different type of love. One that revolved around respect and awe; it wasn't hard to gather that Jack and Owen certainly had an interesting relationship. If he had to guess it was bordering on that of brothers. Jack was obviously proud of Owen, and though the two probably didn't speak of it, there was no doubt a deep respect and love between the two of them.

Then there was Gwen, easily considered the heart of the team. At first glance the Doctor realized she was likely the great-great granddaughter of the original Gwyneth who saved Cardiff from the Gaelth. Compassionate and kind, she reminded the Doctor a lot of Rose, naturally seeking out the best in people. There was more there, it wasn't hard to guess that if given the chance Gwen could easily fall in love with a man like Jack. But she was devoted to her husband. She did however love and adore Jack, a doting figure in her life. The Doctor had been surprised slightly by how deeply she wanted to care for and protect Jack. Gwen had a fierce loyalty deep down inside her, which the Doctor could clearly see. 

Of course next was Tosh. The Doctor had met her originally when the aliens attacked London. He knew at that moment she was special and different. Jack had swept her up, and he didn't miss a thing. The Doctor could see she ached for more, a bigger and better life. But like Gwen, Tosh had a fierceness about her that demanded respect even in the tiniest ways. It was the way she reacted when she was around Owen, unafraid to yell if she had to. She was firm in her convictions but unsure in the rest of her life. She too loved Jack, but differently. Like Owen, she probably loved Jack like a big brother. Obviously her heart truly was set on Owen—not the best decision since he was technically dead—but she was helplessly in love with the medical man. 

Finally there was Ianto. Upon this contemplation the Doctor's eyes landed on the lone figure. That's what he was, the Doctor realized as he watched the man move on autopilot that Ianto was the other half of something very important to this team. He was the calm and shy aspect, but strong and firm in the face of danger. The Doctor had seen a lot in his many years. He'd seen love before, but this love was truly different. He wondered at times if his and Rose's love could have lasted the way these two would. Jack and Ianto's love was so remarkably unconditional. They longed for one another. A part of him know both Ianto and Jack could live without one another, but he also realized that neither truly wanted to. Jack would give up his forever to be with Ianto for a few years, and Ianto would give up a few years and spend forever with Jack.

Together they formed the perfect unit, Owen was the sarcasm and outer shell, Tosh was the brains, Gwen was the ever beating heart, Ianto was the silent strength and Jack was everything else. 

Sweet and beautiful Jack. The Doctor's mind moved to the thought of his Captain and he smiled sadly at that. Jack had changed a lot since the day he'd met the man some four years ago in 1941. To say that Jack had matured would be an understatement. Jack had grown up and then some. The Doctor knew the look that often lingered in the immortal's eyes. A look of loss and constant agony, knowing he'd have to watch those he loved die. But Jack had a strange ability to rid himself of the bitterness and only embrace the love. He could be brutal but he had so much love inside of him. Jack didn't need someone to stop him from bitterness and anger; unlike the Doctor he had the ability to see beauty in things. The Doctor needed someone to remind him how far a step too far was. Jack's team didn't need to stress it; they'd follow him to the ends of the earth.

Martha took a seat on the couch beside the Doctor, snapping him from his reverie. "They're hurting."

The Doctor nodded. "They might as well be screaming. Give them time Martha, they just got him back and now he's gone again. Don't you see it?"

"What?" She asked in confusion.

"He's the missing gap. They all have to exist for this team to function. I've never seen a group of people need each other so completely."

"Doctor, will Ianto really be with Jack forever?"

"Not forever, but for a very long time yes, until he dies."

"Do you miss her?"

The Doctor's gaze grew serious as he thought about the woman in question. A mere girl when the Doctor had found her. She'd grown as well; he appeared to have that effect on people. "Every moment, with every fiber of my being." 

"I used to be jealous of her."

The Doctor gave a brief snort. "You aren't anymore?"

"Maybe a little, but if what you had with Rose is anything like what Jack and Ianto have," Martha shrugged before she continued, "What I felt then and what I feel now seeing those together is sadness. No one deserves to be ripped from their lover in such a terrible way."

"She was so beautiful Martha. Oi you two would have gotten on wonderfully."

"Can I ask you one question? Why her? What was so special about her?" There was no anger or frustration in her voice just sheer curiosity.

The Doctor chuckled. "Absolutely nothing. I think that's why I loved her. She was so average, so completely regular. That's what made her extraordinary. She wasn't exceptionally brilliant or stunningly well read. She was bright, oh yes, and she knew enough. But she was so human Martha." His eyes took a far off look as he smiled. "She had compassion, for every living creature—alien or human. Didn't even matter if the creature was trying to kill her, she found a way to care. She taught a broken man how to care again. She showed me how to see again, properly. I saw planets I had known for hundreds of years in a new way."

Martha smiled, she reached over and gripped his hand. "If it ever happens, I'd love to meet her one day Doctor."

He pursed his lips slightly as he threw his arm around her and drew her close, holding her in a hug. "If you'd come later, or perhaps even earlier I might have been able to share that love." He whispered as he pressed a kiss to her head. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

She smiled as she slipped her own arms around his waist. "You made me stronger and I'll always love you."

o0o

He sat silently in the Captain's office, flipping through the little photo album they'd been hiding for nearly two years now. So many memories filled the pages before him. But it was one picture that Ianto couldn't tear his eyes away from. Valentine's day just this year, their first real sit down dinner and date. As always Jack had managed to surprise him. 

_Jack stepped into the office grinning from ear to ear. "Off with all of you!" he yelled playfully._

_Tosh glanced at her time at the corner of her computer screen. "It's barely three."_

_"Thank you Miss Sato I'm well aware of the time. It's Valentine's day, go enjoy yourselves. Promise I won't tell the boss."_

_Owen didn't hesitate a second later as he stood up and grabbed his jacket, it didn't matter that he couldn't eat or drink, he was going to enjoy this night. He'd find a way. He offered his goodbyes before slipping out of the Hub, seconds later Tosh and Gwen were hot on his trials. _

_"Did you want me to clean up sir?" Ianto questioned as he made his way towards the Captain. _

_Jack smirked as he looked at his lover. "No, I've got big plans for tonight. Do you trust me Ianto Jones?"_

_"Completely sir."_

_Jack nodded. "Excellent, go home get a shower and find something comfortable to wear, and by comfortable I mean warm and casual, and by casual I mean jeans Ianto!" _

_"Any hints as to why sir?"_

_"Nope, be ready to go by five—and drop the sir Ianto. Tonight we're off duty, Torchwood is closing and we're going to have fun."_

_"Yes sir."_

_Jack pointed his finger at Ianto playfully growling slightly at the last word. Ianto chuckled softly and nodded. "Yes Jack."_

_As promised Jack showed up on the dot by five, and instead of his usual outfit, he too wore a pair of jeans and one of his usual blue shirts, a leather jacket over top of his shirt. He'd obviously showered because his hair was jelled slightly. _

_Ianto was stunned at the sight before him, he'd never seen the Captain in anything but his usual outfit—or nothing at all. Ianto wore his favorite pair of jeans, they were a little loose around his waist, but hugged all the right places. He'd chosen his favorite black button down shirt and wore a similar jacket to Jack's. _

_"You look wonderful." Jack whispered as he leaned forward to offer his lover a kiss. He then pulled out chocolates from behind his back. "It's customary in most cultures to give the date chocolates or flowers. You don't really strike me as a flower kind of guy so I opted for the sweets." _

_Ianto smirked as he accepted the gift. "Thank you sir—Jack."_

_"Nice, come on then, we've got places to be!"_

_"Where?" Ianto asked curiously as they made their way to the car. _

_Jack turned on his heel. "Would you like to know?" Jack said with a smirk. "I'm driving."_

_They were on M5 when Ianto realized they were going to London. He didn't bother asking why, knowing Jack wouldn't tell him. But it would be a three hour ride so he chose to get comfortable. Sitting in the passenger's seat they idly chatted about past Valentine's Day, holidays. Ianto spoke of his older sister who lived in London on the west side. Jack took it all in, periodically asking questions or adding to the conversation. _

_"You're the middle kid?"_

_Ianto smile. "Yes I am, though I swear I act like the eldest. It's Carys, Arwyn, Sean, me and Olivia."_

_"You're an uncle then?"_

_"Two nephews and a niece. Sean has a daughter. Carys has two boys. Oi rotten those two."_

_"No doubt spoiled by their uncle."_

_Ianto offered Jack a cheeky grin. "Just a little."_

_"I'd love to meet them sometime."_

_"Really?"_

_"Of course, I'd love to meet all of your family!"_

_Ianto chuckled. "Well I don't think you'd want to meet my grandfather, he's been dead for twenty years now. Christmas then, I'll tell them you'll be joining me. My mum will love you."_

_"Would they be surprised by—" _

_"No, for starters I had a boyfriend at the uni. Second, back when I first started at Torchwood and I told her about you she smiled and said _'Ianto, you should date that man'_ she used to say. Happiest day of her life, no doubt, when I told her about us."_

_"Best not break your heart then, don't want an angry mum after me."_

_"Jack, what was your mother like?"_

_Jack's face grew serious for a moment. He concentrated on the road, thinking of what to say. "Beautiful. Blonde hair bright green eyes. I wasn't as close to her as my da' though. He an' me were inseparable."_

_"Do you miss your family?"_

_"Yes. I'm not like you, my family was small."_

_They arrived wherever it was they were intending on going. Jack led Ianto towards the theatre, a huge grin on his face as they stood in front of it. "Jack—this is—you brought me to—"_

_Jack nodded. "I remembered you saying you wanted to see __Wicked__ a while back. Did some research an' here we are. I also booked us a nice sit down dinner for after the show and a hotel. No funny business though, this is a date, we're going to do this properly."_

_"What if I don't mind?" Ianto questioned looking over at his lover._

_Jack shrugged. "I want to give you everything Ianto."_

_Ianto smirked as they walked into the theatre. "I'd settle for just you Jack."_

The waiter, at the restaurant afterwards had taken a picture of the two of them together, capturing the moment from that night. There were actually two pictures, the first was them sitting at the table for dinner. Side by side, arms around each other grinning at the camera, he and Jack seemed to just glow even in the picture. The second picture on the next page was dancing. There had been a live band that night at the restaurant. They were staring into one another's eyes, completely lost in the moment. Ianto flipped the page, smiling at the next photo in which Jack was drenched in mud and water, meanwhile Ianto stood a few feet away grinning like a fool, his hands were the only thing that were dirty. Ianto knew without looking at the other page that the next picture Jack had grabbed him and pulled him into a wet and muddy kiss. 

_"All I'm saying is I don't want to die of hypothermia!" complained Jack as he shivered once more and made his way back towards the hub. Ianto, still standing a few away so not to get his clothes dirty snickered. _

_Jack whirled around on the younger man, glaring at him. "And what, pray-tell, is so funny Mr. Jones."_

_"Well to be fair—sir—you didn't actually have to jump into the bay to catch the creature, as it dodged you just as you were coming at it. One would think for an Intergalactic play boy like yourself that you'd be able to stop your momentum a little better."_

_Jack stuck both hands on his water logged hips as he moved towards Ianto. "Is that so, well I'll have you know--Mrs. Intergalactic Play boy—that I can stop my momentum anytime I want!" He reached the last few inches, grabbed Ianto and yanked him into a kiss. They separated moments later, Ianto covered in mud and damp as well. "Now is not one of those times."_

_"Sir we must be more careful, the dry cleaners are going to start suspecting things. And I'm only going to be Mrs. if you do the dishes every other night."_

Ianto had later found and froze the pictures from the CCTV, deciding to keep them as a memory. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Ianto to know that Jack loved him. Ianto's thoughts were interrupted by Tosh's walking into Jack's office. "We're going for food, you want anything?"

"No, I'm fine thank you Tosh."

Her eyes softened. "You need to eat something Ianto. He's going to need you when he wakes up."

"If he wakes up." Whispered Ianto.

"When." Was all Tosh said before she left the room again. 

Ianto sighed as he looked back down at the pictures. He had to believe Jack was coming back. He had every time before, even when he'd run off with an old lover. He always came back. "I need you." He whispered as he gently touched the photograph. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: **

The darkness was suffocating, he whimpered as he tried to pull himself back from the depths of blackness. He felt as though he was trying to claw his way back to reality. And then there it was a gentle caress. It was the simplest thing in the entire world, but it grounded him. He could hear an equally soft voice through the emptiness. "_It's time to wake up Jack."_ soft vowels. _"We miss you love."_

He'd get out if it was the last thing he did. "_Breathe Jack, just breathe._" Could he do what the voice was commanding him? Pain shot through his veins, he felt his body fixing itself. Growing, stitching itself back together. Suddenly he felt something slam into his chest, no—wait it wasn't into his chest—something slamming inside his chest. His heart—it was pounding—suddenly he felt his lungs fill up. It hurt; it hurt so bad a horrible loud shuddering breath.

"That's it Jack, that's it, let it out." Ianto whispered as he continued to stroke his lover's head watching as the man's chest fill up. Jack let out a shuddering breath and a small whimper. "I'm here love." Leaning over Ianto pressed a kiss to Jack's clear forehead. All the sores had healed, it was the first sign that Jack was going to wake up. They'd spotted the healing three days ago. It had been the longest seventy-two hours Ianto could ever remember. He'd been dying to see those beautiful sea blue eyes for so many days. And now those beautiful eyes slowly fluttered open. Ianto smiled as the familiar orbs focused on him. "Hello Jack."

"I died?"

Ianto nodded. "Do you remember what happened?"

Jack glanced around slowly; he took a moment to comprehend everything. "Yes—radiation sickness."

"How do you feel?"

"Sore." He offered quietly.

"You've been lying prone for a long time. Do you feel like standing up and getting dressed?"

"Did I see the Doctor?" he asked softly.

"Yes he's here. Would you like to go see him?"

Jack looked back at him again. "You never left me."

"Of course I didn't Jack. You're my captain."

Jack reached out slowly and pressed his hand to Ianto's cheek. "Thank you."

Ianto just nodded. "Come on then, let's get you moving otherwise you'll get stiff." Leaning over he placed his hands under Jack's shoulders and slowly helped the other man sit up.

Jack groaned slightly as he leaned against Ianto. He hated this part, he always felt a little stiff at first and weak. He allowed Ianto to slip an undershirt over his head. "Do you need help with the pants?"

"Only if you're taking them off."

Ianto shook his head chuckling as he pressed a kiss to the back of his lover's head. "We'll do that later, we've got plenty of time. For now let's just get you dressed." His pants were on and soon one of his many blue shirts too. He buttoned the shirt himself; they left the braces off this time. Ianto then stood up and slowly helped Jack up to his feet, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Okay as always, one step at a time."

With Ianto's strength and love, they slowly made their way up the stairs. Jack took a moment to look at everyone in the hub. Owen wasn't around, leading Jack to think he was probably working on someone in the medical bay. Gwen was working with Tosh quietly at her desk. Martha was sitting at Owen's desk working on the computer. The Doctor was nowhere in sight.

Tosh glanced up at the sight of something moving. A warm and beautiful smile spread over her face. Both she and Gwen moved towards their leader. Jack opened his arms wide, taking them both in at once. He held them tight. "Welcome home." Whispered Gwen.

o0o

Jack and Ianto sat in the basement of the hub that night. Everyone else had left after a lot of prodding from Jack. The Doctor was in the TARDIS, no doubt tinkering, and Martha had gone with him to sleep in a real bed. They'd been talking for the past hour quietly about various different things.

"Ianto, don't misunderstand me—I want to spend the rest of your life with you. But I couldn't possibly ask you to make a change like that."

"I understand that Jack, but I want to do this. I want to be with you, this way you just get me longer."

Jack sighed as he shook his head. "Ianto, you'll watch everyone you've ever loved die, your sisters, parents, nieces and nephews, the team. You'll make friends and then watch them die. It's a curse, Ianto."

Ianto looked over at the man he loved. "Would it be as bad a curse if you were with someone you loved?"

"I'd never wish immortality on anyone, friend. Ianto—you've got to be sure, absolutely sure that you want to do this because there is no changing your mind. I—I'm not the type of person who can easily promise you forever and no one else. It's likely that I will still flirt with others. I may not sleep with them, but that's a temptation for me."

"Jack I'm not asking for you to solely devote yourself to me, I don't expect you to. I'm just asking if you'd be willing to come home to me the majority of most nights." Ianto looked at Jack, waiting for those expressive eyes to say no. Waiting for some sign that this would be a bad idea.

", I'll make this promise, as of right now at this very moment, if I could wake up to you every morning, I would. And I promise that as of right now, you're the only person I want to come home to. You beat the Doctor by a mile."

"Then that's all I want. Jack—"

"You're going to do it without my consent, Ianto one way or another. If you're positive that you can live while others die, if you're positive that you can handle the changes and everything, then do it. I'll be here for you every step of the way." Jack didn't say another word as he lay down on the bed, curling up towards the wall.

"You're angry." Ianto offered as he too lay behind Jack, wrapping his arms around the older man.

Jack shook his head. "No, I'm scared, scared by the idea that anyone loves me enough to want to wish themselves into a permanent existence."

"Jack, I'd like to think what we have is special."

Suddenly Jack turned in his arms, his eyes watering softly. "No one has ever loved me that much. And yes, Ianto, what we have is special. But please be sure that you can live with who I am, because I've got so much baggage it couldn't fit in the hub."

Ianto reached up and cupped his lover's face, surprised by the fear there. "Jack I promise you, you're the one for me. There isn't anyone else. Yes, I loved Lisa, just like I love you. Completely and totally. Love is blind and I'd do anything for you."

"If you really want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life—"

Chuckling, Ianto pressed his lips to Jack's. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you one way or another. No matter what."

Jack smirked as he dove back in for the kiss again, lips clashed as they deepened the kiss. Ianto smiled against Jack's lips, he tasted like coffee. "Are you feeling up to this?" Ianto questioned, he could feel the bulge against his thigh and didn't want to rush Jack if he still felt weak.

"Ianto I could be dead and still be ready for sex." stated Jack, as he ran his hands down Ianto's lithe form. He gently ran his hand over Ianto's boxers, causing the man to hiss in passion. Pressing gentle kisses down the man's neck and cheek Jack let himself get lost in the emotions that were running wild through his body. Hands were everywhere as the two men began exploring one another's body, no rush this time; they just slowly enjoyed one another's company and energy.

Jack traced every single curve of Ianto's body, pressing his lips to Ianto's chest, he nipped his way down to a nipple and began to play with it, swiping his tongue across it then nipping at it until it was taut and Ianto was moaning with pleasure. Smirking to himself, Jack moved over to the other one and repeated his actions.

Ianto smiled as he ran his hands over Jack's back, until his fingers came down to tease Jack's entrance. He spent a few moments gently probing the area, avoiding dipping in or Jack's straining need to arch forward. "Lube?" Ianto questioned gently as he continued to play with his lover's puckered entrance.

Jack reached across the bed for the night stand; grabbing the tube he thrust it into Ianto's hand. Ianto chuckled "Eager?"

"Tease," mumbled Jack as he heard the familiar squelch from the tube, he gasped as a moment later he felt a greasy finger enter him. Moments later Ianto was buried deep inside Jack. Both men had frozen, overcome slightly by the lack of activity lately they had to pause before one or both ended it all.

Soon enough a rhythm began, steady and trusting, as Ianto began to thrust and Jack met him equally. Moans of pleasure filled the tiny room as they moved together and steadily. Sweat coursed down their bodies, heat building between them both as their lips met in a passionate kiss. Ianto's hands was on Jack as he pumped with the same rhythm he thrust.

Both men came with a shudder, frozen in one another's arms. Breathing deeply, Ianto removed himself and lay down beside his sweaty lover. "Forever Jack." he whispered through a thick voice.

Jack smiled as he pressed a kiss to Ianto's forehead. "Forever." His eyes fluttered closed. Both men wrapped up in each other's arms, cuddling close as they slept soundly for the first time in days.

o0o

"You're really sure you want to do this?" The Doctor questioned as he stood in front of Ianto and Jack. They were all standing in the TARDIS, Martha, the Doctor, Jack and Ianto. The others remained behind in the hub.

"Yes sir." Replied Ianto as he looked between the Doctor and Jack.

The Doctor nodded and suddenly a strange helmet thing descended from the ceiling of the TARDIS. "It's called a Chameleon circuit; it literally rewrites your biology, in your case I'm not completely rewriting I'm just changing certain genes."

"Why can't you do that to Jack?" Ianto questioned.

The Doctor looked over at Jack. "Because what's been done to him can't be undone. And technically I didn't do it to him. Ianto, you know what DNA looks like?" When Ianto nodded the Doctor continued. "Imagine a giant white strand running through the middle of a DNA strand, that's what's happened to Jack's. In your case we're not adding that strand, but rather we're breaking said strand into several pieces and infusing it into your DNA."

"Is it going to hurt?"

The Doctor studied both Jack and Ianto seriously for a minute. "Yes, it's going to hurt a lot."

Jack looked over at Ianto. "You don't have to do this."

Ianto smiled as he pressed a kiss to his lover's cheek. "Yes I do."

Jack cringed at the sounds of Ianto's screams as they filled the air, he'd been strapped in and was practically convulsing as the entire machine changed and rewrote his DNA. Jack felt the tears stinging his eyes, only imagining what his own screams had done to this beautiful young man before him. "Doctor—" Jack began unable to finish, his eyes solely on Ianto.

"It's almost done Jack, I promise I would have never done this to him if he hadn't asked." The Doctor whispered.

What seemed like hours lasted no more than five minutes, the machine stopped and Ianto dropped to the floor, unconscious but breathing. Jack raced over to the figure; he felt tears trailing down his cheeks, as he gently stroked his lover's cheek. "Am I really worth it?" he whimpered.

"Yes," came the weak whisper.

The Doctor glanced at Martha, gently taking her hand he led her outside, leaving Jack and Ianto alone together. Jack gently pulled his lover up in his arms. "I love you." He whimpered.

Ianto managed to wrap his arms around him, and as the past week hit him Ianto lost it. Sobbing, weeping into his lover's shoulder. Letting out all the stress and pain of watching Jack suffer and die a horrible death, never sure if he'd actually come back again. Jack held on, for all that he was worth. He clutched his lover to his body, enjoying the warmth against him, knowing that he was equally as warm. He held fast to his lover, as he too had a few revelations of his own, his team loved him and needed him as deeply as he needed them. He realized they'd fought for him, taken care of him through all the mess he'd created because they loved him.

"I've got you, I'm here." Jack murmured softly as he held his lover.

o0o

Jack and Ianto stepped into the hub twenty minutes later. Ianto had washed his face and was looking more composed. Jack stood beside him, their fingers entwined as they stepped into the man area of the hub. All eyes swiveled towards them. Gwen was the first to get up and walk over to them. She looked at the two men, hands over her mouth, tears in her eyes as she reached out for Jack.

Releasing Ianto's hand, Jack grabbed her in a hug, picking her up of the ground lightly as he swung her gently in his arms. He pressed a kiss to her nose then set her back on her feet. "Thank you." He whispered.

She smiled at him and nodded, before turning to Ianto and giving him an equally big hug. Ianto grinned as well and pressed a kiss to her head. Stepping back, Tosh was next as she gave both men a hug.

Jack gripped his lover's hand again and smiled at his family, as messed up and strange as they were, this was _his_ family. "Thank you."

"Okay enough Disney moments, who's up for a pint?" Owen offered, everyone smiled.

"First pints on me, come on!" Jack called. "Doc, you coming?"

The Doctor grinned manically. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

THE END…perhaps


End file.
